Emotional Intelligence Model

Denver-Based Sales Leadership Development Available Nationwide

By Reuven Bar-On, PhD

All definitions from The EQ Edge, Steven J. Stein, PhD and Howard E. Book, M.D

Intra-Personal Realm: The Ability to Know and Manage Yourself

  • Emotional Intelligence Model | SalesLeadershipSelf-Regard is respecting oneself while understanding and accepting one’s strengths and weaknesses. Self-regard is often associated with feelings of inner strength and self-confidence.
  • Self-Actualization is the willingness to persistently try to improve oneself and engage in the pursuit of personally relevant and meaningful objectives that lead to a rich and enjoyable life.
  • Emotional Self-Awareness includes recognizing and understanding one’s own emotions. This includes the ability to differentiate between subtleties in one’s own emotions while understanding the cause of these emotions and the impact they have on one’s own thoughts and actions and those of others.
  • Emotional Expression is openly expressing one’s feelings verbally and non-verbally.
  • Assertiveness involves communicating feelings, beliefs and thoughts openly and defending personal rights and values in a socially acceptable, non-offensive, and non-destructive manner.
  • Independence is the ability to be self-directed and free from emotional dependency on others. Decision-making, planning, and daily tasks are completed autonomously.

Interpersonal Relationship

  • Interpersonal Relationships refer to the skill of developing and maintaining mutually satisfying relationships that are characterized by trust and compassion.
  • Empathy is recognizing, understanding, and appreciating how other people feel. Empathy involves being able to articulate your understanding of another’s perspective and behaving in a way that respects others’ feelings.
  • Social Responsibility is willingly contributing to society, to one’s social groups, and generally to the welfare of others. Social responsibility involves acting responsibly, having social consciousness, and showing concern for the greater community.


  • Problem Solving is the ability to find solutions to problems in situations where emotions are involved. Problem solving includes the ability to understand how emotions impact decision making.
  • Reality Testing is the capacity to remain objective by seeing things as they really are. This capacity involves recognizing when emotions or personal bias can cause one to be less objective.
  • Flexibility is adapting emotions, thoughts, and behaviors to unfamiliar, unpredictable, and dynamic circumstances or ideas.

Stress Management

  • Impulse Control is the ability to resist or delay an impulse, drive or temptation to act and involves avoiding rash behaviors and decision making.
  • Stress Tolerance involves coping with stressful or difficult situations and believing that one can manage or influence.

General Mood

  • Optimism is an indicator of one’s positive attitude and outlook on life. It involves remaining hopeful and resilient, despite occasional setbacks.

“The relationship you have with others starts with the relationship you have with yourself."

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